


Chocolate Peanut Butter Love

by hopefulhuman



Category: Long Exposure (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Angst, Anxiety, Bulimia, Café, Cliff - Freeform, Cookies, Crushes, Drinking, Finding Love, Flirting, Fluff, Furries, Gay, Jokes, Loneliness, M/M, Mechanics, Mental Health Issues, Mitch is a apprentice, Pining, Sad times, Smoking, Swearing, Tags Are Fun, bold jonas, eating dissorders, finding friends, i mean a lot of swearing dude, javier - Freeform, mitch is a Klutz, more tags and warnings to be added, scratch - Freeform, sinning, some fluff i guess?, trigger warning eating disorder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-29 17:23:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12635667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopefulhuman/pseuds/hopefulhuman
Summary: Mitch has noticed that there are a couple of things that his big ass hands with their long fingers (yaoi hands) are useful for1 - good for sticking them down his fucking throat2  - good for reaching things (pringles cans and for his job at the mechanics, etc.)3 - good for sinny things (opening cans, rolling joints, etc.)4 - good for touching boys.But unfortunately for Mitch, recently there has been an imbalance in these things, most specifically way too much of the first three and not enough of the fourth.But luckily for him (and the cute boy barista he meets at a cafe near work), - That is all about to change





	1. hands

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Long Exposure - webcomic](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/335034) by Mars. 



> I personally don't have experience with an eating disorder and although I have done research - I want to know more and make this work the best it can be, at its most honest and relatable points. If you would like to help me with this feel free to message.  
> ALSO - These characters are not mine, they belong to the wonderful 'Mars' and their gorgeous comic 'Long Exposure. Go and read it kids.

Chocolate peanut butter

The stiffy oil-filled air of the garage was starting to choke Mitch.  
Its humid hands were just starting to wrap its way around his throat and the sweat that came with it, was another hefty foot pressing on his belly.  
The way the boss of the place eyed Mitch, with glaring eyes and side glances, he probably regrets giving him the apprenticeship by now. The hands twist around Mitch's body ever more, with the way he can feel his superior’s eyes on his thighs when he slides on the garage creeper under a client's hatchback. He can feel his own breath down here now, the toxic smell of diesel mixing with the dread and anxiety that leaks out from himself. It’s hard to distract yourself from the truth; it’s hard to concentrate on the tasks at hand when you're being choked. Mitch sees the way the other workers look at him, at his frame, at how weak he is, but they still seem to be scared of him. He slides out from under the car to grab a different kind of spanner, purposefully not making eye-contact with the smoking superior standing over-him. His grip on the tools tightened, his stomach grumbled, the emptiness inside him grows, the hands around his throat and torso squeeze. Mitch needs to get out of here, before his innards come out of his mouth, before they realise, before he suffocates. Fill himself up, regret it, empty it out.  
“Your lunch break starts after you finish up that holden kiddo.”

Mitch speedwalks out of the shop, the only thoughts of escape and something to calm him down, something to fill him up.  
Ran out of cigs a couple days ago and the local shop only sells fucking camels, these fucking privileged neighbourhoods.  
Can’t be caught tipsy on the job, so no going to the pub  
Left his stash at home too.  
Fuckity Fuck Fuck.  
That makes it Reeses Pieces time, time to drown his emptiness in the warm hands of a sugary treat, cry in public and vomit it all back up in a public bathroom.  
He fucking hates public bathrooms.

All Mitch can think of are the glares and voices of his ‘co workers’, and the voices inside his head that agree.  
No muscle on him, just the skinny little runt from the litter that won’t last long. Always second place. Not worth the effort. Self-destructive piece of shit.  
The only 3 things mitch felt was the concrete beneath his feet, the tears welling up in his eyes, and the whirlpool of emotions left behind from the choking hands absence now that he walked in fresh air. How slow his long legs moved him across the ground came to attention, how his arms felt both too large and too small with the wind that brushed over them.  
So when he walked into the local dairy and found that they had ran out of anything slightly chocolate-peanut butter flavoured, can you imagine how shit of a day Mitch Mueller was having.

But all was not lost, the tears not quite to the point of falling, when the hopeful sign of a slightly run down cafe (that he could afford) with sign boasting ½ price reeses pieces, chocolate peanut butter flavoured cookies; and boy did they look delectable.

On brink of crying, and on the brink of punching something, basically on the brink of an emotional meltdown, Mitch pushed the door open with a little too much force; Shattering the quiet of the dull cafe, and surprisingly only getting glares from half the patrons and 1 of the female waitresses. Striding to the counter suddenly aware of how sweaty his wife beater is, and how pathetic the hi-vis overalls, sleeves wrapped around his waist, look like compared to the tired looking suits who occupied the coffee house. 

He Struggled for his wallet with a hunched back as Mitch waited for the person ordering in front of him to fuck off.  
“Can i’ve as many fuckin’ reese's pieces cookies as this can get me.” He asks gruffly handing over a 20 without looking up.  
The soft voice of another young man spoke up in front of him,  
“I think that would be about uhhh....”, the soft boy paused, the light smile and look of customer service falling into one of slight confusion, manipulating the tan freckled skin and hazel eyes into a frown at the $20 note in his hands as he murmured and thought to himself.  
“Hey Sid, how many cookies would a 20 give me?”  
shouting to the other barista across the room, who was most entirely related to the bakery boy, like in a female and body, except with droopyer eyelids complete with dark eyeshadow and a permanent smirk on her face.  
“I’d say about 8, if its less then he gets 8 anyway they’re going stale, if its more take the cash as a tip and don’t tell Dean.” She said without looking up from the milk frother. He chuckled.  
The boy was without a doubt one of the most attractive people Mitch had ever seen. Like fuck man, he was chocolatey in himself, a radiant warmth all through him, to swirl on the tongue [;)], get addicted too, and to always make a day better. Fuck man.  
Fuck he was probably seeing Mitch at his worse, all fucking teary eyed and angry and shit. Fuck the cute chubby guy with the spots will be too fucking scared of the sweaty angular-yet-lanky punk idiot who orders 10 cookies and makes him do math. Nobody likes math man. Fuck this is not helping. Fuck I just want to get my fucking cookies and go. Get out of this world and fucking disappear.  
“Here you go sir.” The voice spoke up.  
Mitch unclenched his hands.  
The boy nervously smiled.  
Mitch smiled too, can’t properly remember the last time he did that properly. Mitch took the bag out of the guys hands with a quick thanks and a quick glance at the name tag on the dusty apron he wore, but only half getting it. Walking straight out of the shop, to get the fuck out of that situation. His heart was beating way too rapidly to be normal, the hole in his stomach was even wider and even more hungry, the emptiness was growing intensely, the hands hand found their way back to his torso and back to his neck and back round his skinny weak and pathetic limbs and whispering in his ear about other people's words.  
And so the cookies came out.  
And they were fucking amazing.  
I mean fucking incredible.  
Like smoking the best fucking pot and drinking the best fucking beer and fucking the best fucking guy at the same time.  
That may be overestimating it a bit there but all he’s thinking is that the cookies tasted like they were from fucking heaven. Better than Mom ever made them.  
After the 4th one had been shoved down his gullet Mitch began to slow down a little bit, dry off some of the tears and realise that he had been staring intently into the cafe for the last couple minutes of so. He started noticing the cutie inside, (instead of his angular reflection in the glass). The part of the name tag the Mitch remembered said ‘Jo’ on it; But there’s more letters to it than that….  
Maybe it could be ‘Jonas’  
Or maybe just ‘Joe’  
Could be fucking ‘Josephine’ for all he fucking cared  
But Mitch did care.  
What about ‘Joey’?  
That sounds about right. From the way he ambled his way around the counter, and the way his sides didnt quite fit flushly through the opening to the rest of the cafe. How he looked like he had stolen some of the sunlight from a clear autumns day and embedded it in his body. Joey was a name like that; a more attractive name like that; a name that suited the attractive spotted chocolate autumnal-sunshine man.  
Mitch noticed his staring reflection in the glass of the shop, noticed how even a few steps back from it his waist was still about the same size as the suited man's ipad that he read the paper on in the front table. He swore that it was much bigger than that though, that it could still be smaller and stronger and better. But as the sun came out behind the clouds, preventing the reflection from being shown any further, mitch once again laid eyes on the male worker inside, Mitch laid eyes on the unforgettable curves on his body, how they graced the room he strode around in. How the apron he wore, on top of the baggy pants made his ass even more unforgettable. Mitch saw how the freckles ran down his shirt and covered his forearms, how his belly swelled, how his clean hair would have tickled his ears. And Mitch thought, maybe for the first time in his life.  
That maybe it’s ok to be soft.  
Maybe I can afford to not see my own ribs.  
Maybe.  
But the first positive thoughts Mitch was having for far too long got interrupted by the fact that he had managed to fit his own fist inside his mouth.  
And that the boy was staring at him.  
Fuck

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

 

In his thoughtful daze Mitch had managed to both  
eat all 8 of the cookies  
Mistakedly eat his hand thinking it was a cookie  
Waste 10 minutes staring at a cute boy  
Well maybe not waste  
Fuck  
The boys eyes quickly tore away from Mitches as he loses his balance inside as he trips over the sibling behind the counter.  
Ha, he looks so cute when he’s flustered,  
His ears are red and so are mitch's cheeks.  
The familiar beep of his watch as it clicks over to 2:00 rings in his head  
2:00  
Fuck its 2:00  
Holy fuck fuck shit cunt fuck Mitch was supposed to be back at the garage by now  
He turns hurriedly and starts sprinting down the dirty concrete  
Fuck man  
That’s what a cute dude can do to you man (amongst other things),  
Even worse Mitch doesn't have the time to go to a bathroom and put his hand in his mouth again except for opposite reasons  
Maybe it won't be so bad  
Maybe  
Maybe not  
Maybe Mitch will be late back to work  
Maybe Mitch will get fired because of his fucking gayness and self esteem issues  
To be fucking honest the only thing Mitch knows right now is the concrete beneath his feet and that he is most definitely coming back to this cafe.  
No matter how much he fucked up this first time.


	2. lungs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \- protective mitchTM  
> \- Joey is confusion  
> \- Neil can You like stop??  
> \- Sidney is always right man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long and that is so short I only just got a new phone for christmas and it's the only place I can privately write things.  
> anyways - enjoy.

It was not uncommon for people to walk into the wagner cafe angry, or depressed. That's the thing about being in a more privileged neighbourhood you tend to get the more uptight privileged people, all suits, ties and tired eyes; or the uptight mums on their way to the nearby university/college, never really the students though - as the walk was just a bit too much for how good the coffee was. Business was still good though, quiet but good.  
But That's part of why Jonas immediately recognised Mitch as being different to his normal customers. Angry and sad like the rest but he still just stood out. He was the right age to be a student, but the dirty, sweaty, hi-vis overalls he wore and the stubble on his chin showed that he wasn’t one.  


The first time he had visited the shop Jonas will always remember; it was odd and scary at first - made him feel so embarrassed to have someone watch you so intently, so viciously. He was certain there was something upsetting the customer - although Jonas blamed himself for that and would do so until one of the many next visits by this Elusive Customer.  
A man so strange with an order just as odd. 20 freaking dollars worth of cookies?? What on earth?!?! It made Jonas stand on edge for sure.

The second visit was similar.  
It was very scary at first. Intimidating. Embarrassing. Just very odd overall for Jonas. It was the staring that unsettled him the most - the look that he could never tell if it was from anger or apathy or compassion, it was odd. Talking to Sidney about it helped though, her jokes always made things better, even if she was joking about him being a stalker. that certainly did not stop the anxiety that it gave Jonas, the uneasiness though . You see - nobody had ever paid him that much attention before, at least, not of that kind.

After the first couple of visits he somewhat got used to it.  
And soon Jonas concluded that the The scruffy, lanky, man was a somewhat refreshing yet scary sight in the cafe. If only he would talk to Jonas. 

But This all changed after the 4th time he visited.

Because the notorious Neil Beckham visited with him.

 

It was going as a pretty normal day, people floating in and out, no real casualties. But as the clock ticked over 3pm the door opened, and the soft step of expensive loafers waltzed into the cafe.  
“I’ll have a soy macchiato with a club sandwich, and snappy please chubbs I have a funding meeting to be at.” the voice of Neill barked at Jonas.  
“Can I get a name for that?” He had responded weakly, trying to ignore the Neil’s familiar sneer piercing into his skin, and the crude comment Neil had made.  
He leant over the counter, placing his hands down onto the cash machine and placing his unpleasant uptight demeanor right where it shouldn’t be like normal.  
“Shouldn’t you know my name by now mr. still working in a cafe at 23 years old.” menacingly sneering and smirking at Jonas, he could feel his stomach churn like he was being squeezed tight by this customer's presence as Jonas swallowed his heart back down. Neil placed some mixed notes on the counter and retreated to sit down at one of the old couches at the front of the cafe.  
That's when he noticed the other customer. He’d been standing just in front of the doorway for probably the whole time, standing tall in his working clothes - it was almost a relief on one hand but also a worry on the other, especially with the look on this odd customer's face. It was one of utter disgust, the normally averagely attractive features torn between anger and disappointment.  
Jonas still hasn’t started breathing properly yet.  
He sauntered up to the counter keeping his eyes on Neil, his hands clenched around his wallet.  
Oh no something's gonna go down.  
Oh heck I hope it’s nothing serious.  
“Can I have a can’o coke please.” His voice was gravelly and lower than normal. His eyes, only leaving Neil in the corner of the cafe for a moment, to grab the money out of the old leather wallet he carried, mumbling under his breath, things that Jonas was not sure whether he wanted to hear.

After getting the second customers cookies and coke, he went and sat down at a small table perpendicular to the door.  
Jonas made the freakin soy macchiato thing and put the pre-made club sandwich on a plate with some chutney.  
Take a moment to breath Jonas you can do this, he said it himself he has a funding meeting to go to soon, he’ll be gone in a jiffy, and nothing will happen and all will be ok.  
That was a lie.  
Rubbing his temples while watching the tense scene that had unfolding infront of him

Sandwich and Drink in slightly shaking hands, Jonas walked with as much false confidence he could muster over to the sun and age cracked, black, leather couch that sat by the window and so sat the infamous Neil on.  
“Club-sandwich and Soy Macchiato.” a mere whisper slipped from Jonas’ mouth as he placed the 2 down on the coffee table in front of them and taking a step back.  
Neil looked up from his phone, a disdainful look on his face.  
“Took you long enough faggot.”  
The almighty sound of a chair and table screeching against floor filled the room,  
Jonas closed his eyes  
Heavy footsteps  
Rolling up sleeves  
When was the last time he breathed normally?  
Oh no oh no oh no  
This cant be happening  
Not again  
Not neil too  
Wait neil wasn’t sitting at the chairs

“The fuck did you just say?”  
He had grabbed Neils polo shirt and had his fist firmly planted on his chest when Jonas opened his eyes a second later.  
Anger was in each customer's eyes, but the fear that they both wanted of each other could only be found in Jonas.  
“I asked a FUcking question piss stain!”  
The taller customer was practically livid.  
He pulled Neil up from his sitting position with a jolt, bringing his face up to his own. But seeing the returning furious and violent face of Neils in full detail, Mitch could just see the money dripping off him and the privilege he believed he held, in his cock of a face. He let him go.  
“Who the Fuck do you think you are?!.”  
Neil returned in equal viciousness, leaning towards his opponent, with a face quickly developing into the colour of a baboons ass.  
“I’m the guy who saves up his money to come to this cafe so I can see Spots here smile, so anytime you have another derogatory prejudiced comment complaint feel free to come by the mechanics down the road cause your gonna have to go through me first, ya fucking trust-fund ingrown toenail bitch.”  
what on earth  
Mitch’s face was so close to Neills now, their noses were almost touching and whenever Neil angrily spoke with his ugly-ass beaver teeth he spat on his opponents face. Both red with anger a silence fell upon the room.  
But Jonas did not recognise this over the beating of his heart in his throat and the rat race of thoughts in his head  
The scruffy one was protecting him? Jonas?  
And he likes jonas’ smile?!?  
And he called him spots?!?!?!?!  
Footsteps  
Oh please be sidney please oh please  
I need to get the hell outta here  
I need a fucking break  
I feel like i need to vomit. 

“what the fuck is going on here?!” a familiar assertive voice sounded from the bottom of the staircase behind the counter (the whole family still live in the apartment above the cafe).  
Jonas didn't even turn his head  
He was homeward bound now  
“This delinquent just threatened me" Neil spat, taking a step back from the other customer and towards Sid. He tried to put on his serious grownup privileged face but his strewn blond hair and red cheeks betrayed him to show his true piggish interior.  
“ Yea but HE,” The taller man pointed aggressively at Neil, “Threatened and bullies your fuCkin clone,” aggressively pointing at Sidney now “AND he’s a fucking homophobic piece of shit!” The hand was back pointing at Neil. Jonas sat down on the couch behind him quietly, his heart still had not removed itself from his throat just yet, but from the way his brain felt like jelly from the anxiety that churned his stomach and stole his breath, he deserved a seat.  
He saved his money to cone to the cafe??

“I dont care what either of you said, I want both of you out of this cafe and not to step a foot back in it for the next month at least.”!  
Sidney slowly walked from behind the counter towards the assailants, she may have been shorter and chubbier than the 2 of them but the way she swung her hips and arms as she walked; and the way her eyes burned, she always had to be taken seriously. And in the brief moment where Jonas looked up and caught her eye they both knew that everything would be ok.  
Jonas looked back straight to control his breathing again.  
Man that mechanicy guy has really big hands… and really nice shoulders.  
Gosh I feel like i'm about to faint.  
I love anxiety.  
The men in front of him moved and slowly, grumbingly walked out the door.  
The man who bullied him his whole life  
And his new found protector  
Perhaps even admirer?  
The beating in his chest slowly reduced.  
The sound of the door opening and closing echoed eerily through the again silent cafe  
“Thanks sid.”  
“Your welcome Jo,” She sighed. Jonas signed too. The cafe was quiet once more, and honestly that was all he wanted.  
"Man a whole month without Neil Beckham sounds freaking amazing."  
Sidney slapped Jonas on the back once more in a display of sibling affection, she stood up from the couch and paused,  
"Hey..." she uttered, analysing Jonas' face once more.  
"Leave the daydreaming for when your shift ends dude, I could see you ogling the stalker one the whole time Jo."  
She turned and left swiftly with s familiar smirk on her face.  
"I was not!" Jonas tried in response. A quick "You so were," responded from upstairs.  
Damn  
yea maybe I was  
Fuck Sidneys right  
god damn it Sidney.

my lungs hurt


	3. voices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> turns out they don't have to wait a month to see each other haha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long and how short it is, I have no motivation lmao.

For the next few days Jonas was in a state of turmoil.  
He just couldn't keep his mind from replaying those same few scenes, in his head, over and over.  
Those things that Mitch had said were starting to keep him from sleeping at night, but oddly though, not in a bad way.  
Lying awake in the late hours of the night and getting caught daydreaming on shift and while studying.  
It was always that same line that haunted him,  
“I’m the guy who saves his money to come here and see spots smile.”  
All Jonas knew was that he had thank the man.  
Maybe even apologise to him for Sidney's banishment.  
But it was something more than that,   
it was that something that kept him awake at night and laid beneath that equally haunting nickname.   
And it was that same something that left Jonas standing outside the only mechanics he knew near the cafe, a large paper bag full of leftover pastries (most especially the notorious Chocolate-Peanut Butter-Cookies) and 2 cans of coke in hand, and an ignored racing heart and fluttering stomach. 

For Mitch it was a regular day. Caught under and in cars, covered in lord knows what and being belittled by his bosses and co-workers.   
It was in the very late hours of the summer afternoon, the time where every few minutes you check the clock to see if your any closer to knock off time.   
Listening quietly to hubbub of vocal commotion mixed with the industrial sounds of the workshop, to avoid his own thoughts as he finished up the last wheel alignment of the day, when an oddly familiar voice caught his ear.

“Uhh i’m looking for a guy who works here…”

Who the fuck was that?  
Mitch couldn't look up cause he was arms deep in a trucks ass, and he doesnt think they would be able to see him from the entrance of the shop. But he could swear he knew that voice. 

“Do you know his name?” the gruff voice of his boss projected across the workshop.  
“ughuh thats the hard part, I don't really.”

Thats even more fucked man, coming to the auto-shop looking for a worker then not knowing his fucking name.  
It was probably a cop looking for one of the sketchy workers whose smoking breaks took half a shittin hour.  
Mitch tried to focus on the vehicle in front of him.

“well he was like …. really tall, and lanky but muscular i guess.”   
The voice was a frail bird struggling to fly through the shops oil filled air to Mitches searching ears, but it was infinitely strong to him, the way he remembered it and its soft yet masculine tones, and the way it still managed to be louder than the usual rukus of the workplace.  
“he had a mohawky type thing, and he uh had uh a um a lot teeth ... i’d say - he was, he was kinda like a shark, or maybe a dog.”  
Mitch could hear the boss and a few other people nearby trying not to laugh.  
Jeez treat the fucking guy with respect, he may be a dumbass to do this but he can hear you.  
“oh and his hair used to be bleached, yea that was it.”

The bell rang that signalled end of shift, So Mitch quickly finished up so he could get the fuck out of this hell-hole of a workshop. But while badly using Straightening up and stretching as a disguise to take a quick glance over to the conversers at the front of the shop he was stopped dead in his tracks.  
“Oh thats him!” the familiar voice called.  
It was the cafe guy.  
As in the insanely attractive cafe guy.  
The Cafe Guy who had gorgeous freckles and curves and a smile that could melt ice, that he may or may not have dreamt about.  
And the Cafe Guy who he had all but said goodbye to, when he got a tad mad while tryna protect him from some pigs ass prick fucker who thought he could call joey shit like that, and not get sent at least a foot under.  
And it was the cafe guy who was currently pointing at Mitch while being illuminated by the golden evening sun.   
Yea  
It was more than heart stopping  
It was leg and voice stopping  
As Mitch froze in the middle of the shop while his boss just scowled at him.  
“Well his shift just ended so he's all yours I guess.”   
Uhh shit  
Spots weakly raised a brown bag he was holding in his direction, as if in encouragement.  
Fuuck Mitch could definitely feel his heart start again cause it was going 100 miles a fucking hour.   
He tried his best to look calm while he walked over to to the key rack to put up the keys of the truck and to quickly nab his shit out of the tiny locker he was given. And walk over to the stout man waiting for him. You gotta play it cool Mitch, be smooth and all that shit. Make em not hate you ya know.

“Whats up fucker-cup.” 

The boy in front of him looked bewildered for a moment. His cheeks flushing slightly as he perfectly and awkwardly looked to the ground and shuffled his feet slightly.  
“I uh, came to thank you.”  
The fuck  
Mitch’s brow furrowed  
“The fuck for?” he responded, Mitch was never thanked, he never needed to be thanked, he never did anything to be thanked.  
Mitch thought he was scum of the fucking earth

“I dont know, for taking a stand at the cafe I guess, even if you did get kinda kicked out for it.”   
“Ah there was nothing to it spots,” Mitch tried to shrug it off, to put it short he was certainly not used to being appreciated like this. Never by someone like this.  
He tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace.   
“Plus that fucker really had it coming too him, I mean who still says that shit now man.”  
At least that statement he truly believed.  
“Oh Neil? Yea he has always been like that.”   
“Wait wait wait,” Mitch paused and looked down purposefully into Jonas’ eyes, “You know that cunt??”  
Jonas paused, clearly disheartened a bit, again looking down at the ground as they started walking down the quiet street.   
“Yea he was a bit of a high school bully.”   
“How the fuck, how the fuck did he never get his ass handed to him.?”  
Mitch was getting more interested now, partly because he wanted to know more about the boy he was now walking with? Almost comfortably with?

“How the fuck do you manage to swear in every sentence?”  
That certainly put a stop to that conversation  
Now they were merely joined by the sounds of the outer city suburbia.

“uhh I brought these for you though.”  
Jonas paused to open the brown bag to reveal an array of baked goods and pastries  
“Sorry their just the ones that we didn't sell today, but its all I could do.”  
Oh but Mitch could not be fucked to eat right now. Eating was like the last thing that he wanted to do, especially walking here.  
His ugly ass right next to this fucking ray of sunshine.  
He didn't deserve to be here.  
He would have had to be better to be here.  
He could feel his thighs rubbing together and his knees knocking.  
But spots smiling at him now, and Mitch can feel his stomach gurgle, and his cheeks heating up.   
And it's all getting too much.  
God he can't say no to this fucking guy  
Not when he has eyes like that.  
Fuck.  
Mitch puts his hand in the bag and pulls out a brownie of some kind.

“Oh I wouldn't recommend that.” Jonas said mid mouthful of something. His eyebrows raising  
“Sidney bakes the brownies, and she’s uhh, terrible at it.” He said Stifling a fucking giggle.   
His voice was practically fucking angelic, and that fucking laugh didn't help either.

“Oh,” Mitch stared glumly at the brownie in his hand, and gently placed it back in the brown paper grease stained bag, pulling out one of the familiar chocolate peanut butter things. 

The afternoon sun familiarly touched everything around them, Mitch could feel it warm his too-thin shoulders and penetrate through to his weak heart, it was days like this that made him feel things he didn’t like. Everything was so warm, the concrete and buildings made him sweat.  
This kinda sun would have felt better in the grass.  
In a field with trees for shade.  
With JoJo by his side and a picnic and a joint to share.

“If you don't mind me asking, I was wondering why you like my cookies so much?”  
The man walking beside Mitch asked shyly, he was looking down at the ground again, and he had lowered his voice. But the evening sun still graced his tan skin in a way Mitch didn't know was possible.  
“My uh,” Mitch paused to look down at the still uneaten biscuit in his hand, thinking about his history with both chocolate and peanut butter.  
“My Mom used to make them,”  
Jonas looked up at him, a look of hidden fascination in his eyes.  
“She was terrible at making cake so she made cookies instead for our birthdays and shit,’ Mitch looked at the sky above him. “I mean they never were amazing but the fucking flavour sticks a bit I guess, reminds me of home”  
Mitch felt fucking awful  
Unloading his whole fucking life story onto this poor fuckiign attractive piece of lovely shit  
God he was a terrible person  
He needed a fucking beer  
Or a shot of vodka or something  
Or a fucking shot to the head  
He could feel his pathetic fat limbs stumble himself down the street  
And the tears swelling up in his eyes  
Fuck he was so pathetic  
He was nothing anyone ever wanted to be or to be with.  
Fuck everything was becoming to much.

“That's cute.”   
Mitch looked down at Jonas,  
He was looking straight ahead,  
But he was fucking smiling  
Like he was fucking smiling  
Jonas was seriously fucking smiling about Mitch?  
Fuck everything is seriously becoming too much   
He gulped.  
They both kept walking.

“Um, this is me.”  
Mitch looked up, they were standing outside of the cafe.  
“Wait you live here?” Mitch said in bewilderment  
“Yea there's an apartment above the cafe that we manage to fit the whole family into, Sidney and I both are studying at the uni round the corner so we haven't moved out yet.”  
Fuck he went to University, as if Jonas couldn't be any more out of Mitch’s league.  
“Um, do you want to keep the bag?” Jonas looked expectantly at Mitch, a faint blush on his cheeks. But Mitch didn't notice that he was already lost in his freckles and his own dread.  
“Think of it as a thank you gift.” He handed Mitch the bag with another faint smile, “Well I mean it is a thank you gift, but I mean uh,”  
Mitch stood dumbfounded  
“It was nice meeting you better at least, and yea,” He opened the door to the closed cafe.  
“Yeah same here.”  
“See you later I guess.”  
And with another smile Jonas retreated into the cafe  
Leaving Mitch more confused than in a math class outside of it.  
Fuck everything was too much.


	4. ears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the co-workers  
> also Jonas is getting real bold  
> cause he lonely af really  
> Furries and shit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey it didn't take me a month to update for once, only half a month :)). It turns out I enjoy writing fan fiction more than doing my homework, so over the holidays that's probably why I didn't write so much. But that also means if you see me updating often, tell me to stop procrastinating thanks. Enjoy this, and thanks for reading.

Jonas was starting to find himself thinking about Mitch more and more.  
It was like a magnetic pull in the back of his mind, his thoughts dragged to each little figure and part of their interactions, and although they were regular, it always just felt that tad bit more exciting than anything he had properly experienced beforehand.  
It was how he noticed Mitch was the skinniest of all the customers that he saw.  
And yet he seemed to eat the most sometimes.  
it‘s how Jonas sees the plants that Sid keeps and wonders if Mitch could grow a beard.  
At how he remembered how Mitch smelt in the evening heat, of sweat and oil and all the masculine things Jonas never found himself being   
How the white of the take-away cup lids reminded Jonas of his funny toothy grin.  
In how Jonas hoped that Mitch liked him.

It was odd, but nice, to have something different to occupy his thoughts.  
Ever since high-school he hasn't really had any true friends apart from Sid, and hadn’t had any crushes since the Carmen Ramirez incident, so people never were really on his mind. Well, people were never really on his mind most of the time.   
He baked in the mornings, then had breakfast, went to a couple lectures, worked, study group sometimes, homework. That’s it.  
Jonas found himself telling Sidney about Mitch, he may have even slipped his name into the study group the next day.

If anything it made Jonas realise he was lonely.

But when he thinks about how Mitch looked when Jonas said goodbye to him,  
And the way Mitch looked whenever he came into the cafe,  
Compared to how he looked when Jonas said hello to him.  
Maybe Mitch was lonely too.

So Jonas decided on something that he would never regret again, (2 days after the first time he visited Mitch).  
He decided to get closer to whoever this big scary thin man was.  
He found himself baking extra cookies. And closing the cafe 10 minutes early so he could think over what to say properly to him on the walk to the shop. And he wanted to make sure to make Mitch smile, that's how Sidney told Jonas to make Mitch warm up to him.   
Jonas made the decision to be less lonely.

 

Jonas stood outside the shop in anticipation, the sun blinding him slightly as he leaned against the rough concrete walls of the garage.  
His anxious heart beating just like it did almost every fucking day in high school,   
He started wondering if this was a smart idea at all, especially as a small grease stained creature with green hair started skipping towards him.

“whatcha doing fucknut? 

The thing turned out to be a small young woman, clad in baggy overalls he was sure originally would have been similar to Mitches; but now seems to be covered in stains seemingly years old, or at least never washed. She held her own hands behind her back, and leant forward as she spoke. Eyes bulging and grinning wildly as she hopped like an excited yet terrifying sparrow around Jonas.  
Voice cracking he replied a simple,   
“uh is mitch here…” forcing a smile as the bird never lost eye contact, despite her twitchy movements.   
A mischievous sounding “Ooohhhh.” escaped her lips as her face contorted into a sly grin and knowing look, eyebrows jolting up and down as she giggled.  
Turning and happily and clumsily galloped like a baby deer back into the shop.   
A beautiful silence ensued for a few moments as Jonas caught his breath.  
An awfully drawn out “Miiitchy, your giiirlfriend is heere.” echoed through the garage to Jonas’ ears. Immediately reddening them.  
“Scratch you plague spreading fuck you know i’m as attracted to girls as you are to Cliff,” to this an audible retching sound came as a reply from scratch.

Wait.  
Did that mean Mitch was gay??  
Mitch  
The tough and muscular  
Oil and sweat slicken  
Incredibly and envily masculine  
Mitch  
Was attracted to guys?

But before Jonas’ thoughts could continue, the ‘conversation’ inside interrupted.

“Trust me Mitchy poo, you’ll like this one.”  
“fuck off, I’m almost finished this anyway, and once im done with it i’m gonna go and get wasted.” (It was a Thursday)  
“well he’s at the door and he’s here for you soooooo….” 

Jonas dared to peek inside and saw the girl already leisurely lounging on the bonnet of a new station wagon, obviously talking to the long pair of skinny yet hairy legs protruding from under the car.   
Suddenly the legs bent and slid themselves and their body back into the daylight. Mitch’s tall angular figure taking a few moments to stand. The sun radiated into the garage and lightly touched the stomach of the man, sliding over the pale and bare spaces in his hi vis overalls, his ankles, thin, veiny and muscular forearms, hands and neck, and finally the rough canvas of his head and wet mop of bleached hair.   
Jonas could feel his ears redden more, spread to his neck.  
Mitch first turned to the again giggling girl on the hood, promptly giving a gentle punch and a deadpanned “fuck you" to his companion.  
She aptly pointed a finger at Jonas, and he could swear he heard a “happy birthday" escape her lips as Mitch turned round.

Raising a hand above his eyes as not to squint into the sun, Mitches eyes took a moment to adjust. Jonas raised the hand that didn't hold the bag of biscuits up in a curt gesture.   
The sun lit up Mitches eyes, or maybe they lit up themselves, his pale skin - red from the heat, he braced an awkward smile, returning Jonas’s hand gesture.  
Scratch continued giggling in the background.  
“Holy Shit.”  
Jonas really needs to tell Mitch how much noise echoes in the workshop.

Mitch speed-walked grinning over to Jonas, only just failing at his attempt to seem casual.  
“I didn’t think i’d be seeing you again Spots.” Mitch said, folding his arms and leaning against the wall next to Jonas.   
This move would originally seemed somewhat aggressive to Jonas, especially seeing how he was just about under Mitch, but that smile on his face, although somewhat shark like, diffuse the tension in his heart strings easily and oddly. 

“I Just uh,”

Jonas paused   
He never thought of an excuse for coming here again  
Heck  
He broke the eye contact with Mitch to look at the bag in his hand,  
Only for it to be taken out of his hands  
By A hand that was not Mitch’s

“Javi cut it out.”  
Looking up to see a large young tan man behind Mitch, failing to smile innocently at Jonas. Already opening up the bag sneakily, obviously pleased with himself.   
He mildly questioned “Hey are there any of those brownies in here dude? Last time Mitch kept all the cookies too himself but those things were still half average.” His big and dirty hands rummaging through the bag.  
Mitch rubbed his temples with one of his hands.  
The sunlight lit up his ears a bright pink as it shone through its thin cartilage, the shaved fuzz on the sides of his glowing orange too in a funny manner.

Jonas just continued to be confused.

“Mmm no brownies it looks, but if Mitch will allow,” the man slowly looked up to him with a sly smile, slowly removing one of the cookies from the bag and raising it to his mouth.  
Mitch slowly nodded, his smile decreasing slowly. The man put the cookie in his mouth and chewed, not losing eye contact with Mitch for a second.   
Then mid mouthful, “damn these are good, i’m gonna take them out back, and he better come too.”  
Pointing to Jonas, then taking the bag and turning to leisurely walk back into the shop to a door on the far wall of the small Garage. 

“Shit"  
Mitch turned back down to Jonas avoiding meeting his eyes, with a small soft smile returning to his face.  
“Uh do you wanna come out the back maybe,”   
Jonas’s breath hitched.  
“I mean it’s only the 5 of us cause it’s a Thursday, and Thursdays we’re in charge of closing up the shop, so we do it early and we got some beers and shit…   
I don’t know.” 

They paused

“Okay.”   
What was Jonas doing  
He could feel his stomach tighten  
He’ll call it making friends

“Wait really?”   
Mitch’s face lit-up partially, that sparkle returning to his eye.  
“Are you sure?”

“ uhh yea.”   
Jonas guessed he was sure.  
Jonas hoped he was sure.

 

Mitch stopped leaning on the wall, a quick smug grin and a wave later and Jonas was following him into the depths of the place.   
“Scratch, Javier and Me are apprenticing here, and we’ve known eachother since high school.”   
“Oh cool.” Jonas said trying to keep up with his long legs.  
“And Cliffs a fucking hillbilly cuck, but he’s the boss’s son and doesn't talk much so we fuck with him.”   
“Haha ok.”  
The inside of the garage smelled even more of oil, gasoline, noxious alcohols and sweat, it filled Jonas’s nostrils and clogged his ears. But soon he looked up to see Mitch nervously opening a metal door out to a small patch of grass outside. In the shade he can see that Mitch’s ears actually were red, not just from the sun. They stepped out together.

The yard was tiny, maybe only 3 meters wide.   
But still It managed to include -   
a washing line which hung some other pairs of overalls,   
2 patchy looking bean bags, some old looking plastic chairs,   
a couple of tires and beer crates used as coffee tables and leg rests,   
a speaker,   
and 3 equally intimidating students drinking and joking rowdily.

Scratch, lying stomach down on one of the beanbags attempting and failing to drink her bottle of something without spilling it, hooted wildly when the 2 newcomers walked in.  
Javier sat precariously on a cracking chair sorting out the music.   
And a rough looking white man with a man bun who must have been Cliff sat on another chair smoking in the far corner.  
The only place to sit left was a beanbag.

“I would say for you to take the beanbag Jo, but the grass is just as grass as it is glass and stubs.”   
“Just fucking share.” Javier muttered

Jonas gulped  
“I’m ok with that I guess.”  
Why did he keep freaking lying  
These are not the type of people that Jonas should be making friends with at all.  
And yet he still found himself precariously sitting on the beanbag, Mitch slowly sitting down at his side.  
He could feel his heart in his chest, and hear his breathing increase.  
This was just like highschool again.

The music started back up  
“This better not be any of your fucking clown shit.” Cliff muttered angrily in Javier's general direction.  
Javier flicked the bottle top of the beer he had just opened at Cliff with a glare, then handed Jonas the bottle.  
In response to the look that Jonas obviously didn't realise he was giving, he assured with a smile “It’s only 3% - we can’t legally be on site with alcohol in our system so this is pre-drinks.”  
Jonas muttered a thanks  
Javier opened a beer for Mitch.  
He tried to sip his drink

“Hey Joey are you a furry?”  
Jonas spat out the first sip of his drink.  
Great start.  
Scratch looked up at him with a grin, chewing happily on one of the cookies from the bag.  
These are definitely not the type of friends he thought they would be.  
“uh what.”   
He was stunned.  
Mitch failed to hide a laugh at his side.  
Cliff didn't even try to hide his guffaw.

“You haven’t answered.” Scratch persisted.  
Jonas’s eyes widened, she was seriously being serious.  
“No i’m, i’m not sorry.”   
He could feel his cheeks heating up as he let out a nervous laugh.

“I just think your fursona would be a seal.”  
Javier choked on his beer.  
Jonas could feel himself falling into the beanbag, touching thighs with Mitch

“I can see that.” he muttered, turning to face Jonas.  
“I think it would be pretty hard to get a seal fursuit.” Javier added curtly with a laugh, reaching for the cookies.  
“Oh what about like a penguin?” Scratch added again raising her beer up to Javier in a question.  
Jonas could feel Mitch smiling and exhaling a laugh next to him. Cliff smiled in the corner too.  
The sun shone bright in the golden hour glow.  
“If your fursona is a penguin do you have to waddle when you’re in character?” Mitch added, putting his arm around Jonas. Everyone laughed tipsily in the heat.

But it was comfortable.  
Jonas could feel himself starting to laugh offhandedly, he could feel his heart and lungs and cheeks and ears start to calm down, he could feel himself falling into Mitch and starting to enjoy the situation.  
He could feel himself making friends.

“I think my fursona would be a bull.” Javier continued after the laughter died down, sipping his beer with a smile.  
“More like ‘bull-shit’.” Jonas bodly attempted to mutter into his neighbours ear, only for Mitch to spit out his beer in laughter and shock.  
“Holy Shit spots that was good.” He continued laughing, that smile back on his face. Jonas chuckled in embarrassment and anxiety at his own cheekiness.   
Achievement unlocked - Make Mitch Laugh -   
Javier and Scratch shared a lookTM.  
“Mmm and mine would be a wolf.” Mitch continued the conversation laughing out, his eyes glistening and head nodding.  
“Oh come on, pick something more original.” Scratch yellcomplained in banter.

“I think you’re more of a shark sometimes..” Jonas added as casually as he could leaning back. He was really taking risks today wasn't he.  
“Yea I can see that.” Javier added  
“It’s the teeth!!” Scratch yelled raising herself in the beanbag, her hands stretching her mouth to show her own chompers.  
Cliff muttered something about predator and prey in the corner as another round of laughter was shared in the sunlight.  
Mitch sipped the last of his beer.

Jonas felt himself smiling.  
He hasn't smiled like this in a while.  
The atmosphere was oddly warm and welcoming, as the sun started to set in this tiny mess of a yard.

Shoot  
The sun was setting  
That meant leaving.  
He almost didn't want to leave.

Mitch could obviously sense this too.  
He moved by his side and said quietly to Jonas.  
“Can I walk you home?”  
Jonas smiled a bit wider but also a bit sadder.  
“of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made them talk about Furries cause I still cant get over the fact that Scratch is a furry and her fursona is a deer.


	5. Cheeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They leave the shop and chat  
> Their both fucking happy look at that.  
> Also im kinda finding it hard to get their characters down properly so just ignore it.  
> Short and sweet really

They both clumsily attempted to get out of the beanbag at the same time, legs bumping against each other, stretching stiff limbs.  
“I’m gonna walk this lightweight home.” Mitch muttered in Scratch and Jav’s general direction. He looked over to Jonas who’s nervous smile and golden cheeks radiated an invisible warmth.  
“It was nice meeting all you guys, thanks for the uh free beer.” Jonas dipped his head in the direction of the 3 other people in the yard.  
“You too Jonas.” came with a smirk from Javier  
“yea" came gruffly from Cliff  
“Of fucking course Joey, who wouldn't want to meet me.” Scratch said with a chuckle, Jonas returned it too.  
Good  
They didn't fuck it up so much  
Mitch would have fucking hated himself and them if they had made Jonas uncomfortable.  
But it turned out good  
Better than good really  
Pretty fucking great really.

The group setting means that he didnt notice that he didn't eat any of the cookies.  
And it also have him an excuse for Jonas to practically sit in his lap. Like he hoped this wasn't the last time he got to touch his thighs, because he could already tell that they were wank-bank worthy.  
And plus he seemed to enjoy it  
Jonas was loosening up, laughing at his jokes, getting close to him.  
It made Mitches heart do weird things. And also the dirtier side to his mind, but we’ll ignore that for now.

They walked out the garage together, Mitch quickly grabbing his stuff out of the locker and making their way to the street.

The world seemed quiet for once to him, maybe that was just a thing around Jonas though.   
So used to such a clutter in his mind and world; from the constant stream of self degrading thoughts, the impulsive urges, sinful ways, and absurd regularly pot-fuelled “hits blunt” type of distractions in his head. To the loud environments of the mechanics, to the trailer park, to his high school friends.  
It was so quiet now  
Just walking in the setting sun,  
Matching pace with the man by his side,  
It quietened it all.  
It was nice.

“Those guys seemed nice.”   
Mitch looked down to Jonas,  
He was still smiling.  
Man there must seriously be something wrong with him.

“You must be fucking exaggerating there.”   
Jonas laughed sunnily.  
“Why would I? Any friend is a good friend.” 

Wait wait wait wait wait  
Holy shit their friends?  
He considers Mitch a fucking friend?  
That's like a full level up from creepy guy who buys cookies and cries over them while staring at said cute barista who now considers him a fucking friend.  
Although he would like to admit he’d rather be more than friends.  
But that means he considers his friends friends too.   
f r i e n d s  
Fuck

“Man,” Mitch mumbled. That was a lot to take in. “If you say so.” he put his hands in his pockets

“How long have you guys been working at the garage for then?” Why the fuck was this guy genuinely interested in him? Honestly.

“we’ve been doing it for half a year, so when we hit december the apprenticeship ends.”  
“And what then?”

Jonas legit sounds legit interested in this awkward attempt at conversation. Mitch paused, thinking. That was something he didn't really think about much.

“I dunno, either keep stickin it with old man hyuk as a boss, or fuck off ourselves.”

Jonas paused  
“not a massive fan of your boss?”

“no Fucking way am I a fan of him,” Mitch took a deep breath, trying to avoid all the close calls and insulting nature of the man that suddenly bubbled up in his mind. He looked down to Jonas for a second. There was something up about him. Mitch would swear a couple seconds ago he was purely radiant like the setting sun around them; but his face has fallen, and even Mitch with his questionable social skills can tell.  
He paused.

“What about you?”  
Jonas emitted a questioning “hmmm?” beside him. His head Low, looking at his feet as they walked slowly by.

“Your Boss? Do you like em?”  
“Oh"  
Jonas took a deep breath.  
Mitch’s hitched in uncertainty from that reaction, hoping that he wasn't digging himself into another whole by going into Jonas’s life.

“Well not as much as I wish I could, or at least as im supposed to,”   
Mitch gave a confused look in response. “What do ya mean by that?”  
Jonas kept his head down, still watching his feet go by, his hands fiddling by his side in discomfort.  
“As much as I wish I could leave, cause my boss is definitely not the best of people,” he paused, pushing back the memories of the occasional bruises he had to hide.   
“He’s my step-dad, and I can’t abandon the rest of them like that; Sidney would kill me for letting her work alone, and Sue would cry for days, let alone the rest of the kids growing up, or how Dean would treat them now his favourite punching bag is gone.” 

They were both silent.  
It absolutely killed him to see Jonas like this,  
So upset.  
How his eyes scrunched up and cheeks reddened,   
How he walked and clenched his fists.  
It tore him apart.

“I just couldn’t do it until I get a better job, or until the others have graduated high school.” 

Jonas sighed by his side.  
He willed himself to do something.   
“Well if you ever need to get out of it i’m always here.”  
Jonas looked up surprised at him. That was a good sign already.  
“And i’m sure the others would lend a hand too ya know, it may not be a very clean hand still, but uhh.”  
“Thank you.” Jonas interrupted Mitch before he could fuck up anymore.  
His cheeks were red, and he was smiling again. His golden eyes still had the remains of sadness in them but it had been pushed back by a joy that holy shit literally made Mitch’s heart melt.  
He could feel his own cheeks heating up as he tried his best to reassuringly smile down on Jonas.  
“Anytime spots.”  
Mitch pulled his gaze from Jonas before he started staring for again a creepily amount of time.  
They walked silently for a few moments more, as they rounded the corner to the street of the Cafe.  
The world was extra beautiful in that moment, the beautiful range of blues and reds and yellows and pinks and purples as the sun set.  
Jonas sighed happily by his side.   
Mitch could feel his own heartbeat.

And as for a split moment their hands touched as they walked, a mere skimming but it was enough to send a jolt through both recipients spines.  
Jonas’s skin was as soft as he expected, but it was oddly yet obviously strong from the baking. While Jonas revelled in the thinness of Mitch’s hand, how he could feel the strong ligaments that held it together under it’s calloused skin covering.  
If only they could have touched longer.

Because in that moment they reached the cafe, and the final sad seconds of their togetherness.   
Jonas got the keys out of his pocket to unlock the cafe to get inside.  
“I’ll see you later then Joey?” Mitch stuffed his hands in his hi-vis pockets as another wild toothy smirk crept onto his face.  
Jonas returned it  
“Of course.” Jonas smiled a bit brighter, the sun lighting his cheeks red.  
He stepped inside, waving a quick hand in goodbye and walking out of Mitch’s view inside the cafe. 

Mitch walked back to the shop smiling quietly to himself.   
And all was silent again.  
It was nice.  
But man could he do with a stiffer drink from all that shit.


	6. Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short lil bit of Jonas doing some thinking. Cause I havent really been myself recently either.

It became a tradition pretty quick for Jonas to join in on the Thursday drinks at the shop. Although admittedly the 3 extra times he had been, he brought his own drinks and slightly more food.   
He was starting to have heaps of fun with the rowdy group, it was an odd and unfamiliar environment, yet still a warm and somewhat welcoming one. Slowly getting closer to the others, chatting and bantering on a wide range of entertaining subjects, and learning more about them.  
Like how cliff always wanted to study art, because of how he made sculptures in his spare time. (Admittedly most of the sculptures had some kind of phallic theme or were made out of the old cans he used for shooting practice).  
Or how Javier was a Juggalo, but a very quietly woke one. When he and cliff got into an argument over the black lives matter debate, he completely owned the other with a whole lot of facts.  
Or that Scratch already dreams of being a retired 60 year old with a massive classic car collection, driving around between furry cons, classic car rally’s, and bingo nights.  
Or that Mitch Mueller, (whom Jonas still shared a very comfortable bean bag every visit) had a dysfunctional family, grew up in a trailer park, spent his last years of high school in Juvy, and most especially has a massive thing for arcade games, star wars, and a hatred for michael cera.   
Seriously.

Jonas liked Mitch most of all.  
Especially how he always walked him home.  
And always opened the door for him.  
And how he laughed and smiled that wild grin.  
How he joked and teased but also had soft spots which fascinated him, which he always got caught thinking about.  
And how he made Jonas feel like he deserved to be something.  
Yes Mitch was Jonas’s favourite.

He was always in his mind too. Originally Jonas played it off for being the fact that Mitch was the first proper friend Jonas had made since high-school. The first person he had spent so much time with for the point of having fun and getting to know each other.  
But as the weeks passed, Mitch’s presence was just as present as ever in Jonas’s thoughts. Especially when in comparison to how much he thought about the others.  
Jonas started realising how his stomach fluttered when Mitch was already waiting for Jonas at the entrance to the mechanics when he was late one thursday.   
How the way Mitch sat with him in that beanbag left the side of his leg tingling. How when they walked home he loved it when he alone made Mitch smile, how Jonas felt so awful when he made Mitch uncomfortable and hit his sensitive spots.  
Yea, Jonas really cared for Mitch.  
They were real good friends you could say.

Jonas didn't quite realise how much he liked Mitch though, well not until saturday at least.  
The morning was as tiresome as normal, The afternoon shift was busy as normal, and the evening was as hectic as normal in the family apartment.  
He couldn't sleep.  
Mainly because of the kids now all in highschool all doing their last minute homework together in the late hours of the night.  
And Jonas found himself laying there  
In the dark and turbulent air of the night.  
Only just avoiding the temptation to think about all the mistakes he had made in the past.

 

The only thing that lulled him to sleep was Mitch.  
The thought of them sitting together in that beanbag.  
In Mitch’s lazy arm around his shoulders.  
In the touching and overlapping of their thighs.  
And the warmth of it all.  
Jonas relaxed and could feel his eye-lids close as his mind drifted.  
He thought of Mitch’s big hands and how they held things in them.  
And his shoulders and tall thin frame gliding along the sidewalk.

And Jonas soon slept quietly.  
Mitch really helped.

 

But Jonas still dreamt.  
Of Mitch’s tall Frame in a suit.   
Or without a shirt on.  
He dreamt of Mitch’s wide, hollow, and red cheeks.   
And Mitch’s soft moments of smiles and clumsiness  
Of Mitch's peanut-butter amber eyes.  
Of Mitch eating and enjoying Jonas’s baking.  
Of the way Mitch smiled at Jonas  
Of the way Mitch touched him  
Of the way he talked to him  
Jonas dreamt of Mitch.  
All freakin night long.

 

 

 

Or at least until 4 am  
When Jonas was woken up by Sidney’s fudgeing snoring.  
But this was more than one kind of rude awakening.  
Because much to his disbelief.  
Jonas had managed to develop a semi in his sleep.  
Half a fuDGeing boner.  
All from thinking about Mitch freakin Mueller.

There was a moment of denial in his mind. 

You forget dreams all the time, he could have been dreaming about something else then forgotten it.   
It could be because his brain was confused in the fact that he was developing such a new relationship with someone after being single and lonely for so long.   
It could just be that despite the fact he never really got morning wood, he was getting it now? Despite the fact it isn't necessarily the morning.  
You know technically puberty doesn't end till your 25, maybe it was just the last weird wet dream that just needed to release itself before he reached that age.  
Maybe.  
Not likely.  
Oh gosh.  
But it all made way too much sense.  
How happy Mitch made Jonas feel.  
And how warm and fluffy it was like to be around the nutty man.  
Oh gosh.  
How although he was a guy, Jonas would still call him attractive?   
But it was still a bit different of an attraction than the normal ‘you have socially praised symmetrical features, body and personality’.  
Oh gosh.  
Jonas really liked Mitch didn’t he?  
Oh gosh.  
Imagine what would have happened if he hadn't been awoken by Sid.  
If he had started dreaming of how he wanted Mitch to smile and talk and touch him.  
Oh fuck.

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Jonas likes Mitch 

How did he not fudging notice.  
No wonder Mitch was always on his mind.  
Man ‘Mitch’ is such a nice name.

Fuck

There is no way he is getting any proper sleep tonight.

 

fuuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys you mat have noticed that i've started shying away from Mitch's Bulimia and such, this is mainly because I seriously don't have any experience with this mental illness and I feel exceedingly uncomfortable putting details into it. I still plan to make Mitch's self esteem a theme in this but wont be focussing too much on its effects.  
> This same thing goes for writing any smut for this (if I ever write any), it may happen but it may not be as detailed as originally planned.  
> Thank you for reading this anyway, and if im lucky i'll start updating it more regularly soon. :)


	7. Stomach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another thursday night drinking sesh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey i took fucking ages to do this but oh well, its short and shitty just like me so enjoy.

The next few weeks, although really good, were jam packed with a nice amount of anxiety, sexuality questioning, spending too much time online trying to find information on what makes you gay and what makes you not, and how to tell if your crush likes you back. Being in the shop was hard, because Jonas would get distracted so easily by the pressing questions that suddenly he didn't know the answers too.   
The thursday drinks managed to get better and worse at the same time. On one hand seeing Mitch was freakin amazing, just to be with him, to sit in that beanbag with him and joke and get closer to him; even more so in their slightly romantic walks home in the evening now-autumn light. Mitch just generally was amazing. On the other hand being with him when he had a phat crush on him was beginning to become more and more of a struggle. The thigh touching, the teasing, the smiles, freakin everything else about being with Mitch just destroyed and fixed Jonas’s heart at the same time. It was conflicting to say the least.   
Especially when knowing Mitch was gay too. I mean Jonas figured out he was probably bisexual maybe; but that tension between them, or more the lack of tension, that Jonas only just noticed in the way Mitch touched and smiled at him. It was again, conflicting.

But Thursday was on the horizon.  
And Jonas could feel those fated pterodactyls flying around in his stomach.

It was a brisk afternoon for once.  
One of those days where there’s barely a cloud in the sky, but a cold wind as always comes along with it.  
Jonas walked stiffly down the pavement with excitement, he’d closed the cafe half an hour early so he could be on time again.   
Getting to the mechanics was easy  
It was just the actual being at the mechanics where it got hard.

Today they talked about many things. It started off with a very enjoyable and passionate debate about whether juice is better with pulp in it or not; this then slipped into a calm conversation about siblings, in which Mitch was rather quiet; then again this morphed into which member of the incredibles would be more fun/good to fuck consensually (Turns out scratch realised she was into girls because of good old Elastigirl). Which then switched into a quickfire blast about the right way to tie shoelaces (turns out cliff doesn't know how to do it and wears velcro shoes). So, the more you know.  
Jonas could feel himself bonding and becoming a part of the group every passing Thursday.  
And it was exciting, truly; this was the closest he has ever gotten with anyone except for Sid in years. And it was fun and scary, but mostly fun, to let himself go.

Of course the seconds rolled into minutes which rolled again into hours. And the sun started reaching in to kiss the horizon.  
It was Mitch who pointed it out first.

He whispered in Jonas’s ear a “hey we should probably get going.”  
Jonas didn't want the night to end.  
But still they stood up and bid adieu to the others.  
And exited the shop together.

The night had gotten colder.  
Jonas obviously had not recognised it when he was sitting so closely to Mitch, whom Jonas had just discovered was a living furnace.

“How was your day?” Mitch asked,  
Jonas smiled  
“It was good yea, better in the evening though.”  
He was so close to saying ‘better with you in it’ but it was just too much.  
“what about you?”   
Mitch smiled back  
“Yea it was okay.” he said offhandedly. But then he giggled   
“Oh but we had this absoulute fuckin clown show of a car come in,” Mitch’s grin widened “This massive ass man came in with these sick ass tats and gold teeth, in this fucking teeny weeny shit show of a volkswagen, like, I swear i've seen tyres bigger than that car,”  
Mitch looked down at Joey by his side.  
“and he asks me to change the fan belt alright, but when I ask him to pop the hood he,” Mitch stopped abruptly. Confusion spreading onto his features.  
“Are you cold?”   
“ah, yea a bit.”   
They stopped walking immediately, and Mitch peeled off his old leather jacket, only to gently place it on Jonas’s shoulders.  
Mitch muttered a soft, “there"  
Jonas muttered a thanks back.  
He could feel his stomach somersaulting with the simple action.   
They kept on walking.

The jacket was a bit tight on Jonas   
He struggled to fit his mass in the body of it and zip it up but also the arms were too long for him.  
It was cute though.  
There was an awkward couple of moments of fitting there.

“haha yea sorry im shaped a bit different from you.” Mitch laughed under his breath  
“No shit” jonas huffs jokingly back  
“ooohhh he swearrs!! Would you look at that!!.” He mocked back, a smirk plastered on his lips.  
“Yea you’re rubbing off on me man.” Jonas cheered, bumping Mitch with his hip jokingly.

They laughed and started walking again.

“Yea your gonna have to have more meat on your bones before we fit the same clothes.”  
“Fuck your starting to sound like my mom spots.” Mitch put his hands in his pockets  
“Mmmm is that a bad thing though? Your mum sounds pretty awesome”  
“ha, i guess you’re right there”  
Jonas’s eyes lit up, he turned to Mitch with a bubbling smile on his face. “Ooh you know what, I should give you the recipe to those cookies.”   
Mitch looked stunned - “Are you sure?”  
Jonas was getting selfishly bold again, but he could feel how excited it made his heart, so hopefully this was gonna be worth it.  
“yea come on, come inside the cafe again, we can have some coffee too.”  
He paused  
“Okay, yea, that sounds nice.”  
Jonas smiled at Mitch  
Mitch smiled back.

They rounded the corner again to the street of the cafe in comfortable silence.  
Jonas was happily on his toes, those pesky butterflies were upping their game, but he was happy.  
Mitch couldnt quite relax either, for a different reason though, cause fuck was he looking forward to spending more time with joey, but also fuck spending more time with joey in his cafe.

But they kept walking.  
And entered the cafe together.


	8. Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So um basically Mitch hates himself but this time its in the cafe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um fuck writing  
> Fuck proofreading
> 
> I highkey gave up on this fic, but I have homework due tomorow so I was like? Lets write a fucking chapter?
> 
> Also hopefully im getting this depection of mental health right.  
> Many many thanks to Gus for telling me their story and helping me out with this i am so grateful and hope to make you proud

The bell chimed too loudly for Mitch’s taste.  
It was one of those ones that hung over the door and were only cute in shitty rom coms and fan fics where it alerts the incredibly attractive yet naive waitress of the also incredibly attractive dark and mysterious man coming in. Yea.  
Not cute.  
It had been a while since he’d been in the cafe, he wondered if his official suspension was finished yet. Nothing had changed really about the place, apart from how in the evening now, it was dark inside, and it made that once welcoming atmosphere, look dusty and cold. Joey had already walked along to the kitchen behind the counter,   
so Mitch slowly followed him back.  
“Lemme just find some paper to write it down on.” Jonas chirped out  
Mitch hummed a “mhm” in confirmation, following him behind the counter to lean against the order space between the food cabinet and cash register.   
He could hear Jonas mumbling to himself.

This just doesn't feel right.  
The cafe around him was so stifling  
Almost choking

What hope does Mitch have of ever gaining jonas’ favour  
Just look at him  
Jonas is only giving him the recipe to get rid of him  
It was obvious  
That's why he was so happy  
Cause mitch is pathetic and disgusting and not worth the effort  
It was obvious  
Jonas was getting tired of making those fucking biscuits for Mitch  
I mean look at him  
Intruding into his cafe  
Always causing too much trouble  
And being too pathetic of a person to change

Fuck it just makes his stomach churn

How disgusting of a person Mitch was  
It was obvious wasnt it  
He could feel his lungs just shrink  
Jonas must know that he is sick in the head  
‘no meat on your bones’ Jonas must fucking know  
Fucking fuck man  
Mitch knows there's not a lot to him  
body wise and personality wise  
But there's always gonna be some shitty part of him  
that thinks there's more on his bones  
That needs to go  
There's always shit that needs to go  
Fucking fuck

Maybe jonas was right

As if that's gonna change anything  
Fuck  
It was so obvious  
Fuck  
Mitch could feel the bile rise.

 

“found it.”  
Jonas rounded the corner of the kitchen entrance and made his way over to Mitch.  
Mitch forced a cheeky grin.  
Jonas took a step closer and leaned against the counter next to mitch, holding a scrap of a paper bag with writing on it out in front of them.  
“alright so with the cocoa powder, I recommend using a pretty high quality one if you can afford it because it can make so much difference.” Jonas pointed to the cocoa in the ingredients list.  
“alright”  
“aaaand for the peanut butter, you can use smooth or crunchy depending on preference, and if you don't have any peanut butter either it's actually really easy to make some, just throw like half a cup of peanuts and a lil bit of salt and oil into a processor and pulse it.”   
“ill try and remember that.” mitch replied weakly  
Jonas is really into this baking shit isn't he?   
He was warmly smiling at the recipe  
You could tell that this place was his home.  
“so this is yours then”  
Jonas held the recipe out to him, to which Micth let go of the counter (only just realising how tightly he was holding it) and took it.

They stood side by side in a moment of silence.  
Jonas seemed content  
And even in the cold of the cafe his gorgeous eyes still managed to shine, and his cheeks still managed to flush.

Until he looked into Mitches eyes

“Are you alright Mitch.”He said quietly  
“you look a little bit ill.”  
That look of concern on his face just killed Mitch.  
“uhh yeah” Mitch struggled to avoid eye contact. “im pretty okay.”  
“just sick is all.”   
That fucking hurt to say  
Of course Mitch was fucking sick  
What sick fuck does this shit to themself  
What sick fuck looks like this  
What sick fuck acts like this

“Are you sure?”

 

“No”

 

Jonas took a shuddery breath beside him,   
leaning slightly further into Mitch’s side  
He looked so fucking sad about it jesus.

The only sound that filled the air was their breathing

The sun has almost fully set now

“fuck.” Mitch mumbled under his breath.  
“Mm sorry.”

“for what?”

“for everything i guess shit man.”

Jonas looked up at Mitch again  
An even more fucking confused and sad expression on his face.

Mitch felt sick  
He could feel the fucking hands around his body again  
And the frustration rise inside him  
But also the tears  
Fucking piece of shit

“im just fucking  
Fuck  
Just  
Don't waste your fucking time on me Joey.”

Jonas made to say something,  
His face contorted  
Confused and angry and sad now

“its just that im a useless piece of shit that will never achieve anything in life,  
i wasn't worth my dads or my brothers time, so i won't be worth yours,”  
he took a deep breath. Looking forward  
“i'm sick, ugly, probably an addict, weak, gay, and disgusting, and not worth your respect.”  
Mitch steadied himself  
It was odd saying his everyday thoughts aloud.  
Fuck man  
It was fucking silent again  
And mitch was not brave enough to look at Joey.

“I like spending time with you though.”

Jonas turned closer to face Mitch better.

“It doesn't fucking matter how shitty your family was, i am not them, I want to be your friend.”  
Jonas flailed his hands round in frustration

“Frick Mitch if your sick in the way i think you mean, in the way I saw you the first time you came into the cafe, i want to help you work it out okay!   
And If your an addict, or gay, i dont care,”   
He was counting on his hands now  
“And you are not weak or disgusting in any way, I, I really really respect you, in more ways than one. And fuck Mitch I like spending time with you, so just frick it alright.”

Mitch was dumbstruck and embarrassed and sick and really fucking emotional. This shouldn't be happening

Jonas was really close in front of him and was clearly rather flustered.

“And also Mitch! Also!, You are certainly not ugly, not in the slightest alright! Alright!”

This was making Mitch uncomfortable.

Jonas looked uncomfortable now too, his eyes and face were red and scrunched up

Wait he had just called Mitch attractive. Wait shit. What?

Then Jonas said in the softest shakiest voice  
“im gonna give you a hug now ok.”  
He took a step forward  
Mitch breathed heavily  
“okay.”  
He took a step forward too

And in the most awkward awfully uncomfortable but great way ever

They wrapped their arms around each other

Very weakly and in the most pathetic way ever

But they did it  
They hugged

Jonas leaned his head on Mitches chest, his breath heavy enough to anchor their two bodies together.

“fuck.” Mitch mumbled tiredly  
Jesus cocksucking christ It had been a long day

“your gonna get through this Mitch, im here with you.” a soft voice spoke from his chest.

And Mitch hummed back  
This was nice  
Exhausting but nice

The heat between them calmed the situation at least a bit

And mitch realised this was probably the first hug he'd gotten in years.

So Mitch just closed his eyes  
and hugged Jonas closer.

 

 

An odd thudding noise came from the steps to the upstairs apartment 

“What the fuck do you think you are doing Jonas!”  
A very masculine voice came from the stairs.

 

 

Oh Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha lets see if i write the next chapter before Christmas! :)
> 
> My bet is no


End file.
